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The remains of a breakfast, the murder of a fly and an uniform of sorts.

414

One can't really go wrong with dead-animal-museums, not with this girl at least. But I have to say that the one in Berlin has done the most supurb job.
In most museums it's just dead animals behind glass, with little plates that tell you their funny latin names. Berlin took it a bit further and shows you the cruelty of those cute flapping fellas. A mumbird feeds her babybirds another babybird she just killed, owls who just killed a magpie look at you like you're next, a sad little sparrow lays bleeding in the gutter of a Berlin sidewalk next to some gum and cigarette butts, a shark hangs wrinkled-up in a glassjar because no-one bothered to make him look nice.. And as a highlight of it all, they had a gorialla with my name. Can you get me any more excited? I don't think so.

410

I'm not certain of many things, but one thing I know: if I ever (in the faraway future, please) get kids or a family, I will sew us all matching awkward outfits at least once and probably make it into a holidaycard, or let them wear something like this on my birthdays.

Until I have the motherly power to do this, I like to secretly, subtly match the people in my life. Or I match my clothes to my work or to my surroundings. It's the little things in life! ha.

more matchingness here.

409

A picture of working outside and a picture of working inside. By now the flowers have completely lost all life and colour and so has the field outside. The sky is grey. It's getting colder and I'm getting grumpy. Hiding with blankets, tea, books and temporary records. China can regulate the weather. What if we just make 12 zones in this world and there is a different climate in every zone every month. Then we let the people who want to have all the climates, live on the upper part of the world in whatever zone they want and then we can make the underside of the world into a nomadic place where everyone will move to another zone every month, so that they can keep in their favourite climate. Kind of like how some people celebrate newyears a lot of times because they fly from time-zone to time-zone.
I would avoid the grey climate and maybe visit it once every other year for a small week of depression after too much nice weather.

404

The thing about Germans is that they really like wurst and beer. It seems like an awful stereotype, but I have to tell you that it is 100% true. And they consume so much of it and in so many varieties, that I think they are sometimes a bit ashamed of it themselves as well and then try to hide it, so they call things "liver cheese", which is just wurst. Or they call something "wurstsalat" which is not a salad at all, just wurst. And then they throw parties with cute names like "kinderfest", which is just about drinking beer.. There are uncountable different beers and wurstthings in Germany. And every single  person seems to like it. Even the vegetarians I met, wouldn't stop talking about the amazing vegetarian sausages. It's just in the German blood I think.

So this is is why we started our day in Munich with a typical "Weißwurst Frühstuck". Basically it is two white sausages that you unpeel from their white skin (which ends up as a little pile of used condoms on the side of your plate. Not very appealing when you're already busy trying to get over the fact that you're eating a white sausage in the morning), a lot of sweet mustard (this is very good!), a fresh brezel, and.. a white beer! It's the most ridiculous thing on earth, but it was a great start of our Munich day, and I was proud all day that I managed to eat at least one of the sausages!
We ended the day with beer as well in a real beergarten. In between there were museum visitis, drinking coffee, seeing naked men in the park, looking at books and eating sugarnuts on the market, and a little moment of cooling down and relaxing by the riverside (in the middle of the city!). And there were many people in lederhosen. Crazy Germans.

401

What I enjoyed the most on summerholidays with my parents as a kid, was simply driving from one place to another. Long carrides of sleeping, reading, listening to music or simply staring out the window at the passing landscape.

This summer (and most resent summers), I've been having those same kind of rides, but instead of my family's car, I've let myself get transported and lulled into sleep by trains and busses and trams. Traveling back and forth between homes. Not completely by choice though.. I tend to forget stuff all the time and then I have to get back again. But I try to not be too annoyed by myself and just enjoy that I've finished two and a half books in two days.
Plus, it is a good practice in a way. In a bit more than a week, I'll make a 9(!)-hour traindrive to the south of Germany for a holiday filled with cheese, wurst, beer, mountains, lakes, sheep, germans, biking - and hiking-adventures and peace love and happiness. (ha!) I'm super excited.


ps. I also got a tumblr. I dont know why. Because I'm a modern girl!

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The best thing about Amsterdam is that every cafe has its own housecat. You know how some people always play with their phones while they wait for somebody to finish their peeing, or wait for them to show up or to stop calling with their mum or something.. Well I dont have a smartphone, but I do have a big love for cats, and so in those situations in Amsterdam cafes, I can never really be bored.
The best thing about my room is that I can see a very big part of the sky and that this part of the sky fills itself with balloons on summer nights. They get me very excited.
The best thing about this weather is that you can wear woolen socks and sweaters, but also floaty pants and cheap shoes and no need for a coat.
The best thing about today is that in 2 days I'll have holidays and they will be filled with all the best things in life, I think.

(the worst thing about this scanner is that it gives this awful stripe.. and the worst thing about me is that I'm too lazy and impatient to scan them all in again on another scanner..)

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Colour-matches from days when I tried to get the spring in my life.

There has been a lot of rain today. Groeizaam weer is what they call it, apparently. A good day to take out your red rainboots and go for short spaziergänge through the "fields" (patches of grass) and pick flowers that you cant keep because it makes your nose itch, but that's okay.

386

Words and images fail to express how completely, totally happy and sad I feel right now. Both at the same time. It's like an atomic bomb is exploding in my head and heart and my entire body. Although this is of course the shittiest of comparisons I could give, but you know; it's on my mind these days with all the talk about atomic bombs. So deal with it. 

Wow. 

Hamburg, Hamburg, Hamburg.... 

Just watch this. That kind of says it all. Or maybe not, but it is a cool song either way.

Tschüßli müßli. 

385

The day of leaving Hamburg is getting closer and closer. Instead of counting weeks, I have to count days now. And although I try not to think about it too much, my head is silently checking off all the last time..'s, even though it is only a temporary goodbye. 

I am not too sad. I am enjoying my time here and appreciate all the wonders and the people who surround me here and whom I've come to love - as cliché as it may sound. But I know I will come back here someday, and now I am very much looking forward to seeing my friends back home again more often. Hamburg won't run away. One of the most charming things of this city is that she doesn't demand much of you, she just lets you be around and mostly that is already great. So I don't have to do lots of exciting, big things and instead just kind of spazier myself through these last days. 

And I really do think Hamburg and I have become good friends and, the way it goes with good friends, you don't have to see them everyday and if you must, you can just disappear for a while and then when you decide to return, they will be waiting for you with open arms as if nothing ever happened. 

383

Could it be any more trashy? Oh trust me, it could.

Do you know how people yesterday would go: April Fool's! and then you ask what the joke is and they respond Me. Me and my life. It is all a joke. I am a big fucking joke. Ha.

Well, there you go.

Three things I enjoy:
Dressing up as somebody I am not and then behaving like that person and documenting it with photobooth. I have a large collection of photos of all the different characters in my closet and head.
Ugly wallpapers in real life and on the computer
Childishly giggling at mannequins who act like real people.

What are three things you enjoy?

381

I wish that I could write about how it was for me,
when I grew up among the mountains, wolves and redwood trees,
but I was never there, were you ever there?

I don't know why this feeling keeps on coming back to me
That I need to go into a place where I can see that things can be small,
even the trees, and the cars, and the roads and the houses and the other mountaintops
And the only thing that is big is the sky. 

(To All My Friends)

I actually dont like the mountains that much. Too high, too static, too dangerous in an uncomforting way. But I do love cities that feel like mountain landscapes: with towering buildings to make you feel small and with windows that look down on rooftops to make you feel like the queen of the world. With millions of paths and corners to discover and get lost in. And somewhere in between all of this enormousness, hidden away from everything and everyone else - a small, secret cave of warmth and comfort; surrounded by it all and yet completely isolated and on its own.

366

This weekend, there was a tiny Dutch adventure full of love, and although there was some sadness in my heart while the train drove me back to Hamburg (leaving friends behind again is never so much fun), the beautiful harbour-view made it all good again.

Meeres Stille, Goethe
Tiefe Stille herrscht im Wasser,
ohne Regung ruht das Meer,
und bekümmert sieht der Schiffer
glatte Flächen ringsumher.
Keine Luft von keiner Seite!
Todesstille fürchterlich!
In der ungeheuren Weite
reget keine Welle sich.

365

Erinnerung von Goethe

Willst du immer weiter schweifen?

Sieh, das Gute liegt so nah. 

Lerne nur das Glück ergreifen,

denn das Glück ist immer da.     

Some wise words from our glowing friend Goethe. It is said that Germans like to set things on fire. I must say it does not surprise me much. I like having fires as well in these cold days. Fake fires on the monitor and always some candles. The only problem is that I have encountered many bugsuicides these days. The ladybugs play around my desk for a night and then let themselves fall in the candle. They always seem to do it right after I started caring for them..

Today is Blue Monday, which is said to be the most depressing day of the year. I hope you dont really feel depressed and I'm trying not to burn too many candles today incase the ladybugs feel particulary suicidal today.
What is kind of funny is that it is blue monday and as I've been kindly told, this blogpost is some kind of birthdaypost because it is number 365 (yeah the only connection here is the word blue so it is not really funny, but still).

Now in other news. WE HAVE A WINNER! For the give-away. First of all thank you all so much for the kind words and interest. Because I was so happy about this, I decided to pick two other winners who will receive some kind of postcard - minipackage as well (like a secondprize of sorts).

So I made a video which you can see here so you see I did it honestly and listen to Bob Dylan.

The winner is.....
Phara! (who(s blog) I really like!)

And the other two are Saara and Molly!
I will email you all for adresses and stuff and then you can expect some magic in your mailboxes soon.

For the others; I am always happy to have new penpal-packagefriends, so...........

This was a lot of talking. Probably you only read this last sentence or nothing at all, so it was kind of like talking to myself. In any other condition one would say I am crazy, but the internet makes weird things always seem normal. 

363

Wow thanks for all the nice reactions on the last post! I'll put the deadline for this sunday, so you can still comment and be in it to win it. (HA).

These days I've been doing a lot of reading (dreaming) and drawing (practicing) and working (learning) and also some obsessing over amazing ladies like Marina and Patti. 

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(the picture is my ghost in my hamburger school. Taken partly by my dad, partly by my mum; combined by my dad.)

The last post of 2012. Overall it was a very good year for me (a struggly start maybe, but it's all forgotten).

I think 2012 has been mostly about falling in love for me. With people, with places, with thoughts, with sounds, voices, words, letters, work, feelings, dreams.. Little love-affairs. I've been trying to enjoy them for as long as they would last; a few hours, a few weeks, sometimes longer. With falling in love always comes a little heart-ache and sadness, but that's okay. I've felt at home and completely happy so much more often than I ever did before. (maybe not when I was a baby, but kids are so much easier to please).

I can't be bothered to make lists of things I did, places I saw, people I met, movies I watched, etc. Although I've tried. But I met so many many amazing people this year and I'm very happy about that and I don't really know how many of those will read this, but if you do; I'm sending you a lot of love. And it's coming from my toes. That means I mean it. ♥
I hope you who read this, will have a wonderful new year with a lot of love in anykind of way.

358

I miss hamburg. Watching millions of Bored to Death episodes. Germans are so weird. Who would put a giant lion in his garden? It freaks people, like me, out in the middle of the night. 

Ah and merry christmas. I hope it's a good one for you :)

356

Liebe und toastbrot.
// Rosa / Rot sehen.