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I have been living like a little nomadic girl for the past two weeks. Traveling all over the Netherlands and a trip to English countryside. I enjoy seeing all these wonderful people and places, but now I'm as tired as can be and am also very much looking forward to sleep in my own bed again and have quietness around me. One can only travel for so long. Like people with travelsickness need a stable point to focus on in order not to get sick, I need a stableness to go back to every now and then in order not to get nervous and itchy.

Ungeduld von Goethe

Immer wieder in die Weite,
über Länder an das Meer,
Phantasien, in der Breite
schwebt am Ufer hin und her!

Neu ist immer die Erfahrung:
Immer ist dem Herzen bang,
Schmerzen sind der Jugend Nahrung,
Tränen seliger Lobgesang.

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Die Liebende [abermals] - Goethe
Warum ich wieder zum Papier mich wende?
Das mußt du, Liebster, so bestimmt nicht fragen:
Denn eigentlich hab' ich dir nichts zu sagen;
doch kommt's zuletzt in deine lieben Hände.

Weil ich nicht kommen kann, soll, was ich sende,
mein ungeteiltes Herz hinübertragen
mit Wonnen, Hoffnungen, Entzücken, Plagen:
Das alles hat nicht Anfang, hat nicht Ende.

Ich mag vom heut'gen Tag dir nichts vertrauen,
wie sich im Sinnen, Wünschen, Wähnen, Wollen
mein treues Herz zu dir hinüberwendet.

So stand ich einst vor dir, dich anzuschauen,
und sagte nichts. Was hätt' ich sagen sollen?
Mein ganzes Wesen war in sich vollendet.

This blog has become an ongoing loveletter to Hamburg.
I feel so at home here, but it still surprises me some times. This morning I got up late and walked outside. I got a coffee to go and walked through one of my favourite streets. There was a group of people getting a guided tour. And this is hard to explain but I suddenly felt so very much a part of this city and not at all like a tourist or a visitor. I've felt at home here ever since I set foot on these Hamburgian grounds, but I also felt a lot like all of this was not really mine and that I am just borrowing it all. I borrow this room, I borrow these streets, I borrow my place in the class, I borrow this language, I borrow the people I call friends here, I borrow the german habits I develop, etc... Or that most things are more of other people than of me. This all sounds very possessive but that's not quite what I mean. And I will not even try anymore to explain it because I've been sitting here for half an hour now, coming up with six million metaphors to try to explain this, but they dont work.

I just like the way things go and how I can feel more comfortable everyday and even though I have to leave again soon, it feels good to know that this city has really become much more than just a visiting place. It's also a scary thing. But commitment in any kind of way is scary.

On the photos are two beautiful, crazy minds and two beautiful views and neither of them ever fail to make me feel happy. 

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The tulips have died by now, but tomorrow it's wednesday which means I can get new flowers again (It's always a surprise what they will have every week. On Wednesday they open and then close when they are sold out and open again on wednesday. I like this.)
Staying home, baking, cooking, writing letters, working, and going for a Spaziergang when there is no wetness coming from the sky and the cold doesn't cut through your skin too much.
This beautiful Eindhovian house always makes me feel at home even though it is not really my home.

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Cycling in the cold is not always great, but the amazingly beautiful view makes it all worthwhile. This is what I see on my way to school. I couldnt wish for a more beautiful route.
But how beautiful it may be, I still cant wait for summer and hopefully I will be able to sail a bit then!

Auf dem See, Goethe
Und frische Nahrung, neues Blut
saug' ich aus freier Welt:
Wie ist die Natur so hold und gut,
die mich am Busen hält!
Die Welle wieget unsern Kahn
im Rudertakt hinauf,
und Berge, wolkig himmelan,
begegnen unserm Lauf.

Aug', mein Aug', was sinkst du nieder?
Goldne Träume, kommt ihr wider?
Weg, du Traum, so gold du bist:
Hier auch Lieb' und Leben ist.

Auf der Welle blinken
tausend schwebende Sterne,
weiche Nebel trinken
rings die türmende Ferne;
Morgenwind umflügelt
die beschattete Bucht,
und im See bespiegelt
sich die reifende Frucht.

366

This weekend, there was a tiny Dutch adventure full of love, and although there was some sadness in my heart while the train drove me back to Hamburg (leaving friends behind again is never so much fun), the beautiful harbour-view made it all good again.

Meeres Stille, Goethe
Tiefe Stille herrscht im Wasser,
ohne Regung ruht das Meer,
und bekümmert sieht der Schiffer
glatte Flächen ringsumher.
Keine Luft von keiner Seite!
Todesstille fürchterlich!
In der ungeheuren Weite
reget keine Welle sich.

365

Erinnerung von Goethe

Willst du immer weiter schweifen?

Sieh, das Gute liegt so nah. 

Lerne nur das Glück ergreifen,

denn das Glück ist immer da.     

Some wise words from our glowing friend Goethe. It is said that Germans like to set things on fire. I must say it does not surprise me much. I like having fires as well in these cold days. Fake fires on the monitor and always some candles. The only problem is that I have encountered many bugsuicides these days. The ladybugs play around my desk for a night and then let themselves fall in the candle. They always seem to do it right after I started caring for them..

Today is Blue Monday, which is said to be the most depressing day of the year. I hope you dont really feel depressed and I'm trying not to burn too many candles today incase the ladybugs feel particulary suicidal today.
What is kind of funny is that it is blue monday and as I've been kindly told, this blogpost is some kind of birthdaypost because it is number 365 (yeah the only connection here is the word blue so it is not really funny, but still).

Now in other news. WE HAVE A WINNER! For the give-away. First of all thank you all so much for the kind words and interest. Because I was so happy about this, I decided to pick two other winners who will receive some kind of postcard - minipackage as well (like a secondprize of sorts).

So I made a video which you can see here so you see I did it honestly and listen to Bob Dylan.

The winner is.....
Phara! (who(s blog) I really like!)

And the other two are Saara and Molly!
I will email you all for adresses and stuff and then you can expect some magic in your mailboxes soon.

For the others; I am always happy to have new penpal-packagefriends, so...........

This was a lot of talking. Probably you only read this last sentence or nothing at all, so it was kind of like talking to myself. In any other condition one would say I am crazy, but the internet makes weird things always seem normal. 

352

The sweetest birthday-morning (photo taken by flatmate Paul), stalking on Goethe and the Autumn windowview. From the inside looking out because the sun may shine, but the temperature is mostly too low for this cat.