417

Knitting, working and travelling. These days when the mornings are cold, misty and calm, I long to travel to empty lands again. Just two more weeks.
Not so long ago, a "schooltrip" to empty parts of the Netherlands, organizing, cleaning and sleeping in prisonbeds. The building used to be an office, so the heater would turn off at 6, it made it feel a bit more like camping. Indoor wintercamping. 

409

A picture of working outside and a picture of working inside. By now the flowers have completely lost all life and colour and so has the field outside. The sky is grey. It's getting colder and I'm getting grumpy. Hiding with blankets, tea, books and temporary records. China can regulate the weather. What if we just make 12 zones in this world and there is a different climate in every zone every month. Then we let the people who want to have all the climates, live on the upper part of the world in whatever zone they want and then we can make the underside of the world into a nomadic place where everyone will move to another zone every month, so that they can keep in their favourite climate. Kind of like how some people celebrate newyears a lot of times because they fly from time-zone to time-zone.
I would avoid the grey climate and maybe visit it once every other year for a small week of depression after too much nice weather.

398

Making patterens and missing my Hamburg. The sounds and smells of the harbour, the cold salty wind prickling your face, the beers and bretzels and the foreign chatter. I try not to think of it too much, because you should try to be happy where you are, but sometimes the missing is just there all of a sudden.

393

Lately, a lot of my adventures have been food-related. There has been fish-heads, candy-making, pizza-parties, bitterballen-birthdays, eggs on the side of the road, Dutch-German cheese-tours, salt and pepper from fresh friends in cups with boobs and a giant penis..
And today my classmates had me laying on the floor while they covered my face with blue shit, in order to make a chocolate replica of my nose (this worked out well! We also tried an ear, but that is not so easy. Neither are fingers)..

391

Colour-matches from days when I tried to get the spring in my life.

There has been a lot of rain today. Groeizaam weer is what they call it, apparently. A good day to take out your red rainboots and go for short spaziergänge through the "fields" (patches of grass) and pick flowers that you cant keep because it makes your nose itch, but that's okay.

376

Once I described my head as a big bowl completely filled with millions of fishes. The fishes come in all different sizes and shapes and patterns and they are constantly on the move, swimming swimming swimming. It's a great thing to look at this fishbowl. You will never be bored, because the view is constantly changing. But if you try to grab one of those fishes to hold on to it for a little longer, they just slip right out of your hands again and you are holding another fish all of a sudden.
Having nothing to hold on to can be very scary and makes you stop just right in your tracks. The trick for me is to act like a machine in order to create some kind of structure, or maybe in order to overshout the thoughts. Extreme focus on 1 dumb thing drowns everything else. You can just tell yourself that you have to spot all the red fishes and after a while you will see nothing else. It is a game I play while I am in busy, stressful rooms as well: I think of a colour or a number and then quickly run my eyes across the room and then it's like all the things of that colour just lightup and the rest gets dark and desaturated.
In highschool I used to do mathematical equations to escape from the big bowl of thoughts. These days I like to draw animals with indian ink. Trying to find the right shapes and lines and filling them in with hundreds of tiny dots. It is just like meditation, but with physical results, so even better.
It is not really 'art', but I put her with it to sort of justify the unerased pencillines and the unfinishedness of them all. I might show some more drawings like this some time. 

373

I try to draw everyday, it's meditative.
A postcard to a friend and a breakfast at the studiodesk.

359

Oh Christmasholidays. You know. Staying in bed forever, making cards and books, drinking coffee, eating cookies, dreaming of other places, watching documentaries, listening to top2000.. And of course; seeing friends and family for more coffee and food!
How are you holidays? 

317

I try to match the things I do with the things I wear. To find connections in real photos and photobooth pictures. One big gesamtkunstwerk. Maybe. Maybe one day.
On my evaluation-table you see pictures of Sasha Kurmaz, Martin Petersen and Valerie Phillips. Danke bitte tschüß.

313

Some time ago, Jeroen and I spent many many many hours in the plastic workshop working on this trophee for the Brains Award Eindhoven. It was rather enjoyable most of the time. Being in the photostudio is always fun.

309

Matching up textile samples with photos from the archives. Martin staring at empty walls, and my itchy arms. I had to fuck up all the photos to let them fit together, but that's alright because these colours make me happy.

308

I've been enjoying myself this weekend by dyeing textile with different kinds of fruit and flowers. 
[left to right: Lavender + purple flowers / oranges / yellow flowers / onions / onions long / beetroot / currant / red flowers / cherries / blue berries / cherries long / blue berries long]

307

Had my endterm today and I passed. It was all slightly embarrassing, but I think the knitted penis did the trick, although the teachers also enjoyed my book and this video in which i look very upset and fat. it was taken a little while ago. 

293

The blisters on my fingers from using pliers are still visible. I saw a woman who took her hedge shears to a sleepover, in case there was something to prune. I will become friends with her and take her to the society of botanical artists exhibition.

288

Perfect proof that sex sells. I had my midterm presentation set up in the hallway (mistake) and my 'feminine phallus' was the one thing everybody got drawn to immediately, even though I made a bunch of other things as well.
This is not all we do in school, it was just a one-week assignment and the knitting is nice and relaxing. and it's such a soft and fluffy thing. People keep saying I should sell them, which is a bit weird, but you know, I wouldn't mind the money so if you are interested in buying one, just let me know hehe.

284

Beautiful valentine's card from my lovely friend Deak, and trying to mix 300 different colours for a school assignment.

280

"be master and designer of yourself."

this piece of wall is the one I can look at easily from everywhere around the room, so that's where I put up sketches so I can see if I still like them after a few hours, or a few days. 

278

Two weeks ago I made two spheres as part of an ongoing object-relay-race assignment. They took pretty much an entire weekend, but I am quite pleased with the result. The orange-ish one is inspired by this image by Martin Parr (one of my favourite photos in the world), the other is some kind of floading-scene with strange fantasy buildings. The people look like a 5 year old made them, but it's very difficult to shape figures of less than 1cm high, with no tools besides my hands hihi.