087

2010 is almost over. I've been sending out packages and cards to the ones I love and who have made my year good/better. I think 2010 has been in a way, a good year for me. I moved into a proper apartment in Amsterdam, lazied around and got to know Amsterdam even more, met a lot of amazing and inspiring people and also some good friends. Then moved to Eindhoven, where I found myself a home in the form of Design Academy. I met a wonderful group of people there who I can now call my friends. Besides that, there were a lot of nice days spent with friends, having weird little partys, watching movies, seeing new places (Paris, Antwerp, Malmö), etc.

But at the same time there has also been this feeling of unhappiness and the feeling of failure. First in Amsterdam where I was surrounded by people who seemed to have their lives all sorted out, who seemed to know what they were doing, and now at the Design Academy where the bars are set very high and you constantly get confrontated with yourself, which is a new thing for me that I will have to get used to.

So for the new year I hope to meet even more amazing people, see more beautiful places, have more magical days and nights and let the feelings of failure and self-doubt control me not so much. Let's toast!

I hope you all have an amazing new year and I wish you all the best. For those of you who I've talked to / got to know / met : thank you ♥

I made this mixcd a few weeks ago for a friends birthday. And now it's my present for you to celebrate a new year coming our way. download it here.

Be careful with the fireworks and I'll see you in the new year.

Love,

Bobby

086

I'm looking forward to summer. I won't spend my days wandering around Amsterdam with my friends like last year because we'll be in Australia for 5 weeks. But I bought a ticket for deBeschaving and hoping to get a ticket to London as well, so it's going to be wonderful.

Pictures of our tiny kitchen in Eindhoven and our (much bigger) roof terrace.

085

Last year I lived on a boat in Amsterdam for a while.

Living on a ship in the (in my opinion) most beautiful neighbourhood of Amsterdam was very special.

And even though the room was tiny and the heater never really worked and naked grumpy guys would scare you and it was a big adventure to get there with snow, I still miss it every now and then because I lived with an amazing little group of people and I loved coming home there.

It's too late. I'm getting nostalgic.

084

"It's blue and yellow and you die when you eat it.."

"A poisenous snake?"

"Wrong! A train."

"I'm not so sure about that, nobody ever tried."

I hope you all had a nice Christmas. I did.

083

I dyed my hair pink last week or so. It's only temporary, although I quite enjoy the washed out gingerish colour it has now. I also have a new camera (Nikon D70, I already had one but he kept giving up on me so I bought a new secondhand body and this one works a lot better) and I'm bit by a vampire.

I have friends coming over in a few hours for a photoshoot, so you'll probably see more of that later.

Love,

082

I like to look at this street. The absence of cars, the well-kept gardens, the lovely old people and the way it can catch the light beautifully, makes it seem like it's a street from a dated movie where the women dress in beautiful long dresses with flowers and pastel colours and with their hair big and poofy and soft and shiny, and the men wear grey suits and kiss their wives on the forehead before they head off to the office.

081

I like following people.

I listen to this today.

080

About 9 years ago, my parents decided to move out of the city and to this little town. I didn't understand it back then. We had a life in the city, with friends and memories.

For as long as I can remember, I've been attracted to bigger places, places that will always have undiscovered bits left, places where you can be completely alone and anonymous. I could not see the beauty of this little town where everybody seems to know each other and where every day seems the same. But now that I've seen that there is more out there in the world, now that I don't live here anymore, I start to see the beauty of it. And on those rare days when I have nothing to do, no where to go, I'd like to walk through the castle's parc and to the river and just enjoy the beauty of it all. And it's days like this, that I can see why my parents fell in love with this place.

Love,

079

Almost Christmas so I'm wearing my Christmas cardigan a lot and I put some really ugly lights up on my wall, but now that my big lamp broke, it's nice to have some fairy lights in the corner of my eyes. And it makes me feel happy.

Also a picture of my desk. I always collect pretty posters and cards and then put them on my wall.. & of course cards from friends and a few pictures of people / places I love. bigger here.

078

My sweet and beautiful friends Lieke, Laura, Sanne & Pino. In Antwerp and Amsterdam.

They're definitely the best friends I've ever had. I'm excited to see them again on sunday.

Love,

077

Some webcampics that show off what I've been wearing lately. Lots of black/grey and layers (I'm in love with my lace button-up). Long Johns are my favourite thing ever in the world. And so are socks. And soup. Not that that has anything to do with it, but I'm eating my homemade soup (potatoes, carrots, courgettes, onions, leek & love) and it's deliciously good.

The first picture shows me playing with my toiletbrush-flute that I made for a schoolassignment (yes, we do cool things like that. I know, I'd be jealous too if I weren't me.)

Tomorrow I'm going to dye my hair pastel pink, just because now that I'm still blond, I can. After that I'll probably go back to brown again and let it grow longer.

Love,

076

(l-r: Bobby, Marleen, Ylja, Pleunie, Lotte, Michelle. My sweet and crazy classmatefriends)

Photography class in the studio is insanely easy, but always so much fun because the assignments are quickly made and then we have 2 more hours to play around.

On another note, do you know some good Swedish artists? I already have this small list: The Eyeshades, Rickard Jäverling, Ragnar ZSolberg, Fever Ray, The Knife, Bobby Baby, Hello Saferide, First Aid Kit.

Thanks in advance & love (kärlek? I never know if I can trust google translate)

075

I was following the pack all swallowed in their coats

with scarves of red tied around their throats

to keep their little heads from falling in the snow

and I turned around and there you go

and, Michael, you would fall

and turn the white snow red as strawberries in summertime

074

My school, also known as one of the most beautiful buildings in Eindhoven, which you can't see so well on the picture, but it's the truth and I'll take some more picture to show you some day.

And this is my house. Under it is the Turkish centre, so I can listen and watch the Turkish men hanging out under my window.

Sunny Antwerp

I always fall for tall, long, big, aesthetically eyepleasing buildings.

Love,

073

Candlelit nights with friends in Amsterdam, here in Eindhoven and at my parent's house. Drinking tea and wine, watching movies, textileprinting with potatoes and tape, playing boardgames & more. That's the good thing about winter. Another good thing about winter: Seabear - I Sing I Swim and everything else by Seabear.

Love,

Bobby

p.s. I really need to get my Nikon fixed because this lumix is horrible in the dark.

072

Eindhoven bores me, making as many trips to Amsterdam as possible. Gaypride and my wonderful friend Loikie.

One day I'll have a winterhome in Amsterdam, something small and cute with a roof to sit on and a wooden floor. Today I decided that living in Sweden during the winter won't be good for me, so I'll live there during spring and autumn, summer is for england, winter for amsterdam.

One can dream, right?

Don't hurt yourself on the slippery iced streets.

Love,

Bobby

071

(last two are views from the window in my room in Eindhoven)

Autumn with it's fallen leaves and warm(ish) sunny afternoons, has left us. It's getting too cold and only getting colder. My skin is constantly itching. I only like winter when there is snow and I only like snow when I don't have to go outside if I don't want to and when there is a nice sun shining to make everything look beautiful.

So let's just skip to spring, shall we? It's my favourite season.

070

Snaps in the Academy with my olympus x-a1. I like how it can be big and empty one moment and small, cosy and cluttered the other. It's the place that I feel most at home at, here in Eindhoven. Even more so than in my own house.

Last picture is my friend Lotte. We share a love for Sweden, among other things. She's sick now, I hope she'll be better before tomorrow because we had a little potatoeprintparty planned out. Sausages on sticks and nicelooking words.

069 - 19

Today I turned 19. I think it's an ugly age.

I spend the weekend at my parents house to celebrate with my best friends and some family. My mum made me this beautiful beautiful cape and I got a bamboo tablet, a map for my drawings/pictures/paintings and a tubething for drawings as well. And I got two books and a t-shirt and a vibrating duck and a selfmade hat, a selfmade brooch and a bottle of sprite. I also got money for a kånken bag :)). So I definitely had a lot of nice presents.

We ate amazingly good desert.

Today was the first day of the new period in school. It started out really good. We got to take pictures in the studio. Studios and lamps and good cameras make me excited.

A friend is coming over in a bit. Lovely.

Love,