Die Liebende [abermals] - Goethe
Warum ich wieder zum Papier mich wende?
Das mußt du, Liebster, so bestimmt nicht fragen:
Denn eigentlich hab' ich dir nichts zu sagen;
doch kommt's zuletzt in deine lieben Hände.
Weil ich nicht kommen kann, soll, was ich sende,
mein ungeteiltes Herz hinübertragen
mit Wonnen, Hoffnungen, Entzücken, Plagen:
Das alles hat nicht Anfang, hat nicht Ende.
Ich mag vom heut'gen Tag dir nichts vertrauen,
wie sich im Sinnen, Wünschen, Wähnen, Wollen
mein treues Herz zu dir hinüberwendet.
So stand ich einst vor dir, dich anzuschauen,
und sagte nichts. Was hätt' ich sagen sollen?
Mein ganzes Wesen war in sich vollendet.
This blog has become an ongoing loveletter to Hamburg.
I feel so at home here, but it still surprises me some times. This morning I got up late and walked outside. I got a coffee to go and walked through one of my favourite streets. There was a group of people getting a guided tour. And this is hard to explain but I suddenly felt so very much a part of this city and not at all like a tourist or a visitor. I've felt at home here ever since I set foot on these Hamburgian grounds, but I also felt a lot like all of this was not really mine and that I am just borrowing it all. I borrow this room, I borrow these streets, I borrow my place in the class, I borrow this language, I borrow the people I call friends here, I borrow the german habits I develop, etc... Or that most things are more of other people than of me. This all sounds very possessive but that's not quite what I mean. And I will not even try anymore to explain it because I've been sitting here for half an hour now, coming up with six million metaphors to try to explain this, but they dont work.
I just like the way things go and how I can feel more comfortable everyday and even though I have to leave again soon, it feels good to know that this city has really become much more than just a visiting place. It's also a scary thing. But commitment in any kind of way is scary.
On the photos are two beautiful, crazy minds and two beautiful views and neither of them ever fail to make me feel happy.