389

It is my mum's birthday today. I think I've inherited her love for tulips.
The recently renewed Rijksmuseum, Amsterdam's most famous museum, has been so very kind to digitalize all their works in incredibly high resolution. I've been having a lot of fun, roaming through their collection and zooming in as much as I can and in this way creating new art works again. Please do yourself a favour and start exploring online (but also visit the museum of course, if you can.. I can't wait to do so myself).

one, three, five - "Tulpen aus Amsterdam", by me in my room in Hamburg, 2013
two - Anna van Oostenrijk (1601-1666), Peter Paul Rubens, 1625 - 1626. [link]
four - Stilleven met bloemen in een glazen vaas, Jan Davidsz. de Heem, 1650-1683 [link]
six - Bloemen, anoniem, 1700-1799 [link]

388

German artschool-boys: living out of the box.

387

I am officially back in Eindhoven now.

Hamburg had a downstairsneighbour to wave at.
Here in Eindhoven I look out on an empty field. This morning a little boy was suddenly standing there on his own, in the middle of the emptyness. I waved at him. He, too, was waving. Not at me, though. He waved a stick at invisible monsters. I think he slayed pretty much all of them.

386

Words and images fail to express how completely, totally happy and sad I feel right now. Both at the same time. It's like an atomic bomb is exploding in my head and heart and my entire body. Although this is of course the shittiest of comparisons I could give, but you know; it's on my mind these days with all the talk about atomic bombs. So deal with it. 

Wow. 

Hamburg, Hamburg, Hamburg.... 

Just watch this. That kind of says it all. Or maybe not, but it is a cool song either way.

Tschüßli müßli. 

385

The day of leaving Hamburg is getting closer and closer. Instead of counting weeks, I have to count days now. And although I try not to think about it too much, my head is silently checking off all the last time..'s, even though it is only a temporary goodbye. 

I am not too sad. I am enjoying my time here and appreciate all the wonders and the people who surround me here and whom I've come to love - as cliché as it may sound. But I know I will come back here someday, and now I am very much looking forward to seeing my friends back home again more often. Hamburg won't run away. One of the most charming things of this city is that she doesn't demand much of you, she just lets you be around and mostly that is already great. So I don't have to do lots of exciting, big things and instead just kind of spazier myself through these last days. 

And I really do think Hamburg and I have become good friends and, the way it goes with good friends, you don't have to see them everyday and if you must, you can just disappear for a while and then when you decide to return, they will be waiting for you with open arms as if nothing ever happened. 

384

"Ik ren als een paard naar het licht van het noorden. Hij noemt me Lilith en rent als een ruiter. Mijn tenen voelde ik al een tijd niet meer, maar de snijdende kou van die dag maakte het vuur en de koffie die ons te wachten stonden, des te beter."

A girl dipped her icecream in her hot chocolate while her parents played the games she wasn't interested in.

"Art." They put a large white stone on the table and the father looked annoyed. It looked like a head, but not like his.

Walking all the way backwards, just to not lose sight of the clouds, which kept changing.

There is a game we would play, you hold somebody by their hand and they close their eyes, then you make sure they will have an interesting view and let them open their eyes for a split second. Taking a picture with your eyes.

I do this for myself when I want to remember moments forever. They are more powerful than any real image could ever be.

When the sky shows the world her most beautiful colours, it feels a bit like nature is playing this game with us. Just a split second. Before you know it, it's dark again. But I can still recall the most beautiful skies in my mind.

The song of this post is Le petit Chevalier - Nico

Je suis le petit chevalier,
avec le ciel dessus mes yeux,
je ne peux pas me effrayer.

Je suis le petit chevalier,
avec la terre dessous mes pieds
J'irai te visiter
J'irai te visiter

(I am the little knight, with the sky above my eyes, I cannot be frightened,
I am the little knight, with the earth under my feet, I will come to visit you, I will come to visit you)

383

Could it be any more trashy? Oh trust me, it could.

Do you know how people yesterday would go: April Fool's! and then you ask what the joke is and they respond Me. Me and my life. It is all a joke. I am a big fucking joke. Ha.

Well, there you go.

Three things I enjoy:
Dressing up as somebody I am not and then behaving like that person and documenting it with photobooth. I have a large collection of photos of all the different characters in my closet and head.
Ugly wallpapers in real life and on the computer
Childishly giggling at mannequins who act like real people.

What are three things you enjoy?